South Park Eviscerates ‘Whale Whores’

The Sea Shepherds organization works hard to protect whales from slaughter all over the world, as documented on Animal Planet’s ‘Whale Wars’– but nobody is safe from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who made the group the focus of yet another hilarious episode of South Park entitled ‘Whale Whores’.

Not even the Miami Dolphins are safe from Japanese hunters (decked out in traditional dress) and the “badass” Sea Shepherd crew comes to the rescue with amazingly effective methods like stinky butter bombs. Here’s part 1:

Some animal rights activists might be offended by the harsh lampooning (or should we say harpooning?) of Paul Watson, but don’t get the wrong idea – this episode isn’t sending the message that whaling is okay. It’s asking people to think about the fact that we’re upset by the idea of whales being killed, but don’t extend the same empathy to the animals we slaughter for food.

Watch the whole episode at SouthParkStudios.com.

Link [Ecorazzi]

Chemical Cocktails Cause Penis Deformities in Baby Rats

You know how the EPA and the chemical industry are always claiming that all kinds of chemicals are safe, based on minimal exposure to a single chemical at a time? And you always think, “who’s only exposed to one chemical at a time?” Well, your instinct to distrust these claims is right on the mark, according to a new study that finally evaluated the effect of exposure to multiple chemicals.

Researchers found that harmful effects – including penis deformities – where found in baby rats after a pregnant mother was exposed to a mixture of chemicals, even when each individual chemical in the cocktail causes no harm on its own.

The pregnant rats were given either a phthalate called DEHP, fungicides vinclozolin or prochloraz, the drug finasteride or a mixture of the four chemicals.

From Environmental News Network:

Some groups were exposed to levels of the chemicals that previous research has suggested causes no harm (the “no observed adverse effect level,” or NOAEL). Others were exposed to the chemicals at the NOAEL level.

Once born, the baby rats were weighed, inspected for nipple retention and genital deformities, and measured for the distance between their anus and the base of their penis (anogenital distance). All males were scored for their degree of feminization. In some male animals, researchers also weighed reproductive organs and the kidney and liver. What did they find?

The mixture of DEHP, vinclozolin, prochloraz and finasteride, given at doses known to harm reproductive development, caused decreases in anogenital distance, increased prostate weights and retained nipples. The effects seen in relation to these conditions was additive and could be predicted given the responses observed when looking at the chemicals individually.

However, incidence of penis deformities were much stronger with the mixes than what would be predicted from the potency of the individual chemicals. For a significant number of rats, the penis opening was not at the tip, but was often located toward the base of the genitals.

Eek! A deformed rat penis!

When you think about how many supposedly ‘safe’ chemicals we are exposed to on a daily basis, it seems like there is all manner of opportunity for harm. And just because your mom worked in a chemical factory/drank antifreeze/did other dumb shit when she was pregnant with you and you’re “fine” doesn’t mean anything (fine is relative).

Seriously, who wants to risk having a baby with penis deformities and other problems because we are all so apathetic about the chemicals that are absorbed by our bodies? Time to get serious about cutting chemicals out of your home, especially if you’re a woman of childbearing age.

(If you’re wondering how many times we can possibly make a South Park screen cap relevant to environmental news, the answer is: AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMES.)

Link [ENN]
Photo credit: South Park

MNN Rounds Up Top 5 Green South Park Episodes

Hey, we know environmentalism isn’t usually all that funny. In fact, too many of the stories featured on green blogs across the web are bleak and depressing. That’s why we love stuff like this: MNN’s list of the top 5 green South Park episodes.

Nobody lampoons environmentalism better than Trey Parker and Matt Stone, with episodes focusing on everything from the smugness of Prius owners to an Earth Day Brainwashing Festival. Gotta love it.

Here are #5 and #4 – you’ll have to head over to MNN for the rest.

5) “Rainforest Shmainforest” | Season 3

This hilarious episode features the boys of South Park traveling with an environmental choir called “Getting Gay With Kids” to Costa Rica. Miss Stevens (voiced by Jennifer Aniston) is the leader of the group and urges everyone to “take only photos and leave only footprints” and other green clichés. In the end, chaos ensues and the group ends up collectively hating the rain forest and its inhabitants.

Best line: “Wow, dude, bulldozers rule!”

4) “Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow” | Season 5

Earth Day is coming to South Park — the National Earth Day organization has chosen the town to be the location of its Earth Day Brainwashing Festival. In order to get more kids to tune in and love the Earth, the organizers tell the boys that they must bring television stars Terrance and Phillip to South Park to perform. The treehuggers get violent when things don’t go according to plan.

Best line: “Nothing matters more than saving the planet from Republicans.”

Link [MNN]

Smug Levels at a Yearly Low in San Francisco

San Franciscans finally have an answer to a puzzle they’ve been contemplating for over two decades, thanks to amateur smug researcher Ari Schultz’s ingenious investigation. Every year, for exactly one week during the summer, smug levels in San Francisco have plummeted, befuddling scientists who couldn’t find a reasonable explanation for the strange phenomenon.

The city’s infamous levels of smug have been rising since 1969, but for a single week in August each year since 1986 they’ve gotten progressively lower. The smug levels historically return to normal the following week. This year, according to smug monitors, they’ve fallen to record lows.

Schultz, 16, developed a research method involving complex graphs and algorithms that revealed the true cause: Burning Man. During this weeklong event, held in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, a mass exodus of hippies from San Francisco causes smug levels to instantly drop to levels unheard of outside isolated areas of the Midwest and the Deep South.

Burning Man is well known as a hippie magnet of unparalleled proportions, drawing tens of thousands of attendees eager to freely express themselves by dancing with glo-sticks, driving ‘mutant art cars’ and taking in the many radical art installations, like “Heart Jam Hempology”. This year’s Burning Man drew an even bigger crowd than usual, hence the record lows of smug in San Francisco.

The remaining inhabitants of the city are grateful for the reprieve from the constant onslaught of smuggy air.

“It’s a huge relief – you can actually breathe,” says Martha DeWalt, a San Francisco resident who’s enjoying the low smug levels while they last. “Body odor and patchouli are so hard on the lungs. Usually, the smug’s so thick in this city you constantly feel like you’re choking. My kids can actually go out and play in the fresh air. It’s exhilarating.”

While the city’s smug hippies whoop it up in the desert, parading their nude hairy bodies around with papier-mâché tribal masks covering their faces, San Francisco’s non-hippie residents are demanding that the city find a way to make the changes permanent.

“It’s time for the government to step up and do something about the dangerous levels of smug in San Francisco,” fumed Bob Jessup, gesturing toward the full lot of parked, dusty hybrid vehicles outside the Arterra green apartment complex on Berry Street. “Sure, the smug levels are down this week, but why should we put up with them the rest of the year? I want to see city officials start some kind of project to keep the hippies at Burning Man year-round.”

As for Ari Schultz, he’s been offered a scholarship to study climate science at San Francisco State University, and plans to focus on the city’s smug levels. “I’m just glad I was able to help. Battling smug is just one small step toward improving the environment here in San Francisco, and by extension, making the world a better place for all of us.”

Photo credit: Flickr user Ruthless Logic

7 Reasons You Should Sleep Like a Baby Tonight

Still sleeping with the lights on at night after getting the wits scared out of you by our 7 Reasons You Should be Losing Sleep Tonight? Read on – we’re about to rock you, sing you a lullaby and give you some brandy in a baby bottle. Sure, there are a lot of scary scenarios that could violently kill us all. But, there’s also hope in the form of green tech, a whole new economy, the promise of better leadership and the simple fact that we live in the good old U.S. of A. We might all get blown to hamburger meat any day now by a nuclear weapon, but these positive points might just make you feel a little better about what we’re doing in the attempt to save ourselves.

7- Renewable energy will allow us to continue modern civilization in a cleaner way.

Image via Inhabitat

Relax – green energy doesn’t mean we’re all going to be forced to use hand-crank blenders every time we want a margarita. Advances are being made daily in the fields of solar, wind, water, geothermal and biomass energy. Investors are pouring money into these areas, ensuring that research is being done on such innovative concepts as the Delft University kite project. In fact, researchers are even looking toward surprising sources like algae for its energy-producing potential.

People are really starting to think about how we can move beyond the ‘age of fossil fuels’ and into the future. That means clean, green, renewable energy that can power our world in a way that doesn’t pollute the planet and put our health at risk. The reality is, we don’t have to depend upon coal, oil and other harmful forms of energy in order to continue to advance. The point is that we’re learning how to do things in smarter ways.

Feel good about renewable energy by reading the about all of the latest innovations at Inhabitat.com.

6- Water filtration technology means we might be able to desalinate seawater.

Image via EcoFriend.org

Our freshwater resources are endangered, but things are looking up thanks to some incredibly innovative inventors and engineers who are hard at work on solutions. One very promising new option is the Slingshot by Dean Kamen, who also invented the Segway. It promises to produce clean water from sea water, poison, and even urine. Stephen Colbert made him remove Doritos from water on a recent episode of The Colbert Report, and it did indeed work.

Wired has the numbers behind the claims, and they’re looking good – a single Slingshot has the capability of supplying a village with up to 1,000 liters of clean water daily. It’s powered by a sterling engine electrical generator, which can run on anything that burns, from propane to cow dung. It weighs less than 60 lbs., and doesn’t use filters, charcoal, or anything disposable – it works by vapor compression distillation. It will likely sell for between $1,000 – $2,000 per unit.

Feel good about water filtration technology by reading Segway creator unveils his next act.

5- Green collar jobs will jump-start the economy and guide us all to a brighter future.

Image by Alicia Maldonado via The New Mexico Independent

Now that the nation is on the path of sustainability, there are going to be more green collar jobs than ever before, and they’ll be available to all kinds of workers – from construction and manufacturing to engineers and top-level executives. If you’re worried about losing your job because your industry is one of those targeted by the green movement as harmful to the earth, you can be confident that there’ll be a whole slew of new opportunities.

The movement to make America more sustainable and efficient is going to drive urban economic growth, helping to lift communities out of poverty and make the earth a better place for us all to live. Half a million new jobs are expected by 2030 in the wind industry alone.

Feel good about green collar jobs and how they can help America by reading The Green-Collar Job Solution.

4- Today’s youth are more excited about sustainability than ever before.

Image via Glen Waverly Secondary College Eco-Committee

Not since the heady days of the ‘60s have the world’s youth been so fired up about something other than themselves. There was definitely no small amount of apathy among young people in the ‘80s and ‘90s, but youth activism has picked up a lot in recent years, and with good reason – if something isn’t done now, they’re going to have to deal with even bigger problems later on in life. They’re passionate and energetic, two things that the world desperately needs right now as we all try to make the transition toward a greener planet.

The older generations have been holding us back from creating a better world for ourselves because of their own hang-ups – they’re scared of change, they’re convinced that there’s only one way to do things or they’re simply too jaded. Young people, however, are currently growing up in an environment where awareness about how we’re affecting the earth is higher than it has ever been. To them, being green is normal – it’s the right thing to do. That’s what will ultimately help us get out of this mess.

Feel good about young environmentalism by reading WireTap Magazine’s Top 10 Youth Activism Victories of 2007.

3- We live in a first world country, therefore we’re automatically better off than 80% of the world.

Image via Remiq.net

Unfortunately, the richest countries in the world have created the problem of global warming for the rest, but we all have to suffer for it. While the poorest nations of the world will have little chance of survival once the floods, water shortages, natural disasters and crop failures start, we’ll be far more insulated. No matter how bad things get, Americans are better off than much of the world simply by virtue of our citizenship. For the most part, we’re spoiled, fat and rich.

In fact, citizens of any of the countries with the highest standards of living – Norway, Sweden, Canada, Belgium, Australia, Iceland, Netherlands, Japan and Finland- should be feeling fairly good about their chances. Living in a first world country is a huge advantage. So, be happy that when the negative effects of global warming start actually happening, we’ll be relatively safe and warm compared to the rest of the world.

Feel good about living in a first world country by reading Grim Outlook for poor countries in climate report.

2- Barack Obama is going to lead this country in a better, greener direction.

Image via BarackObama.com

It’s been a long eight years. We’ve all suffered under the mantle of greed, warmongering, corruption and unchecked executive powers brought upon us by the Bush administration, and things have been looking pretty bleak for Americans for a while now. So, it’s no wonder that we’re eager for something entirely different: something hopeful. A president who actually has our best interests in mind.

Obama is poised to crack the aging, lily-white Republican veneer of Washington and instead build a government that will fearlessly march forward into a greener, more peaceful and prosperous future. An Obama presidency isn’t just about one man – it’s about a passion that has been ignited across the country, a wave of political enthusiasm unlike anything America has seen in decades. An enthusiastic core of volunteers, organizers and voters will assure his victory in November, and this entire country will be the better for it.

Feel good about an Obama presidency by reading The Blueprint for Change: Barack Obama’s Plan for America

1- Al Gore has saved us all from the scourge of Manbearpig.

Image via South Park Studios

Exthelthior! We can all breathe easier now. No longer are we in the grave danger of being viciously mauled by the Manbearpig. Al Gore has declared that he has killed this monstrous being, which would undoubtedly have destroyed the entire world. And of course we believe him, because he’s Al Gore – Al Gore the HERO. Any man who single-handedly killed Manbearpig is not a loser. And he’s Al Gore, did I mention that?

Feel good about being protected from Manbearpig by watching this South Park episode.