George W. Bush Sewage Plant Proposition Fails

Sadly, there will be no sewage treatment plant in California named after George W. Bush. Backers of the proposition gathered in excitement awaiting the results, only to be crushed to learn that it had been defeated by a 70-30 margin. Especially sad were Bob Katz, who flew in all the way from Florida for what he thought would be a Proposition R victory party, and Peaches Christ, the proposition’s “basket-ball player sized drag queen” spokesperson. Reality is so often stranger than fiction.

From The Snitch:

Not all of the folks gathered near the Abe Lincoln statue voted for the proposition — or even knew about it. Barbara Coleman said Bush didn’t deserve the honor of having anything named after him.

“He done fucked the country up. What I want is for him to pack up his shit and get his ass out of the White House so Barack Obama can move in — tonight!”

Jacinto and McConnell quietly puffed on cigarettes and sipped from clandestine beers in the shadow of city hall. “We gave it the college try,” noted Jacinto, a city planner when he’s not writing ballot propositions. “We got our message out far and wide to get people thinking about George W. Bush’s legacy.”

Check out one of the group’s campaign ads:

“Pansy” from Brian M on Vimeo.

Ah, San Francisco.

Link [The Snitch]

Specialty Garage in San Francisco Makes Hybrids Even Greener

Hybrid car owners in San Francisco can have their car repaired in at an eco-friendly garage so clean, you could eat off the floor. Luscious Garage has solar panels on the roof, hanging plants and paper lanterns everywhere you look, and a line of recycling containers for paper, plastic, rubber, metal and oil. The garage’s real specialty, though, is transforming hybrids into fully-electric vehicles.

From The New York Times:

Luscious is a secular temple built to serve hybrids, the cars powered by both an electric motor (most often engaged when starting or stopping, thus most efficient in city traffic) and a gasoline engine (most efficient on the open road). But its owner’s forte is converting them to plug-in hybrids, which are functionally all-electric cars that can go 12 to 15 miles on one charge.

That’s right. Fifteen miles, maximum. For a mere $6,000. (If you go farther, the gasoline motor kicks back in. )

“People do it because they are ideologically committed,” said Ms. Coquillette, the co-founder and now sole owner of the garage, which employs two other mechanics, one male and one female.

That’s certainly expensive for 12-15 miles per charge, but many dedicated environmentalists are willing to pay – especially those who have a short commute. One Luscious Garage customer said he can now go the entire week without buying gas. He used to spend $100 a month on gas, so while it would take him five to six years to regroup the cost of the conversion, he figures he can either spend that money being green and efficient or on gas.

Coquillete recycles almost everything, including air filters, and makes her own windshield-washing fluid with vinegar. The shop was named ‘green business of the year’ by The San Francisco Bay Guardian.

Link [The New York Times]

San Francisco Scrambling to Prevent Victory Garden from Becoming One Big Toilet

The victory garden currently growing in San Francisco’s Civic Center Plaza was meant as a celebration of local food, planted over the summer as part of the privately sponsored “Slow Food Nation” festival. The garden, which is home to a variety of herbs and veggies, is prized enough by Mayor Gavin Newsom that he decided to pay thousands of dollars a week for security to keep vagrants and drunks from using it as a toilet. Unfortunately, that’s not working out too well.

From SF Gate:

Once the food fest ended in late August, however, the mayor decided to keep the garden going. His office contracted with Jeff Gutierrez Security, a local outfit, to keep an eye on the pea patch from 4:30 p.m. to 8:30 a.m.

“If they don’t have security, it will become a toilet,” said one city gardener who was planting a fresh bed of marigolds in the plaza the other day.

Newsom initially planned to keep the garden as part of his drive to turn the Civic Center into a model of green sustainability. But Ballard said it soon became apparent that it “was imprudent to sustain security at that level.”

Now, the garden is set to come out in December. And three weeks ago - after trimming back the level of protection - the security price dropped to about $2,200 a week.

Who wants some tomatoes that smell and taste vaguely of human waste? Yum, yum. It’s a shame that they can’t keep this going, because we’d really love to see more examples of victory gardens in cities across the nation. Call me crazy, but it sounds like some public restrooms are in order. Although I suppose that still wouldn’t stop the dude who just drank seven Jack & Cokes from deciding to unload his burden in the basil.

Link [SF Gate]
Photo credit: Ads of the World

Smug Levels at a Yearly Low in San Francisco

San Franciscans finally have an answer to a puzzle they’ve been contemplating for over two decades, thanks to amateur smug researcher Ari Schultz’s ingenious investigation. Every year, for exactly one week during the summer, smug levels in San Francisco have plummeted, befuddling scientists who couldn’t find a reasonable explanation for the strange phenomenon.

The city’s infamous levels of smug have been rising since 1969, but for a single week in August each year since 1986 they’ve gotten progressively lower. The smug levels historically return to normal the following week. This year, according to smug monitors, they’ve fallen to record lows.

Schultz, 16, developed a research method involving complex graphs and algorithms that revealed the true cause: Burning Man. During this weeklong event, held in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, a mass exodus of hippies from San Francisco causes smug levels to instantly drop to levels unheard of outside isolated areas of the Midwest and the Deep South.

Burning Man is well known as a hippie magnet of unparalleled proportions, drawing tens of thousands of attendees eager to freely express themselves by dancing with glo-sticks, driving ‘mutant art cars’ and taking in the many radical art installations, like “Heart Jam Hempology”. This year’s Burning Man drew an even bigger crowd than usual, hence the record lows of smug in San Francisco.

The remaining inhabitants of the city are grateful for the reprieve from the constant onslaught of smuggy air.

“It’s a huge relief – you can actually breathe,” says Martha DeWalt, a San Francisco resident who’s enjoying the low smug levels while they last. “Body odor and patchouli are so hard on the lungs. Usually, the smug’s so thick in this city you constantly feel like you’re choking. My kids can actually go out and play in the fresh air. It’s exhilarating.”

While the city’s smug hippies whoop it up in the desert, parading their nude hairy bodies around with papier-mâché tribal masks covering their faces, San Francisco’s non-hippie residents are demanding that the city find a way to make the changes permanent.

“It’s time for the government to step up and do something about the dangerous levels of smug in San Francisco,” fumed Bob Jessup, gesturing toward the full lot of parked, dusty hybrid vehicles outside the Arterra green apartment complex on Berry Street. “Sure, the smug levels are down this week, but why should we put up with them the rest of the year? I want to see city officials start some kind of project to keep the hippies at Burning Man year-round.”

As for Ari Schultz, he’s been offered a scholarship to study climate science at San Francisco State University, and plans to focus on the city’s smug levels. “I’m just glad I was able to help. Battling smug is just one small step toward improving the environment here in San Francisco, and by extension, making the world a better place for all of us.”

Photo credit: Flickr user Ruthless Logic

Edward Norton is Hot and Green

Actor Edward Norton didn’t just get green physically for his latest movie, the second incarnation of the Incredible Hulk on film. He’s an advocate of green building, too. Norton traveled to Washington, D.C. yesterday afternoon to testify to the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming on sustainable building.

SF Gate has it:

Norton told lawmakers the federal government should start a $5 billion fund to retrofit or construct better public housing that meets new environmental standards. He said low-income communities suffer most from pollution and high energy prices - and would benefit most from a shift to green buildings.

“We’re determined to include low-income housing in this conversation,” Norton said.

San Francisco was a pioneer a decade ago, when it enacted a law in 1999 requiring all city buildings to get the U.S. Green Building Council’s LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) certification.

Sigh. Edward Norton is dreamy. I think he was at his hottest in the movie America History X, in which he played a neo-nazi. Is that wrong? Anyway, it’s cool to see that he’s using his fame for a good cause and not just to show off or make himself look good. That’s what we like to see from ‘green’ celebrities.

Link [SF Gate] via [Ecorazzi]
Photo credit: Marvel Comics

San Franciscans Hope to Name Sewage Plant after George W. Bush

What better memorial to commemorate George W. Bush’s presidency than a sewage treatment plant? That’s what a group of people in San Francisco hope to accomplish after organizing a petition to rename the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility.

From SFist:

The local grassroots movement, helmed by “Wayne Pickering,” is proposing an ordinance initiative for the November 2008 San Francisco ballot in order to get the poop/pee/vomit plant’s title changed. Why? To honor our current leader of the free world with an “appropriate and enduring legacy, for no other president in modern American history has accomplished so much in such a short time.

They held a signature drive last Friday, and we can only hope that they got enough to make this happen. While we may not ever be able to repair the damage Bush has done on this country, and will be left with the scars of his presidency for decades into the future, the least the American people deserve is a cesspool of shit officially named after him. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and as sick as we all are of the assclown that’s currently the head of our country, we need some healing. It would go great with George W. Bush toilet paper…

Link [SFist]

Photo credit: Prank Place

An Insult to Sewage Plants Everywhere: Renaming the San Fran Zoo Sewage Plant after George Bush

How fitting, someone is trying to rename a sewage plant in San Francisco after President George Bush.

SFist has it:

Looking to honor the forty-third President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, the recently formed Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is looking to change the name of the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility. It seems the group would like to rename the SF Zoo adjacent facility to the “George W Bush Sewage Plant.”

Links [SFist] & [Presidential Memorial Commission]

Carrotmob: Harnessing People’s Dollars To Drive Businesses Green

The Carrotmob is one of the coolest green ideas I’ve heard in a long time. Founder Brent Schulkin has pulled together an amazing concept- organized groups of people channeling their spending power on one specific day to give incentive to companies to green up their operations. The first campaign they are doing is a buyout of K&D Market, a liquor store in San Francisco. All the Carrotmobbers will be showing up on Saturday, March 29th to spend a lot of money on booze. The store won a bidding war by pledging to kick 22% of the revenue generated by the Carrotmob towards greening up their operation, specifically energy saving measures recommended by SF Energy Watch.

If you’re in the Bay Area this weekend you can take part by swinging over to K&D Market to buy a bottle or three. Bring cash.

We’ll be watching Brent and his Carrotmob; it’s a great concept that could take off everywhere. Definitely Pure Awesome.

Link [Carrotmob] via [Boing Boing]