Best of EarthFirst’s Bizarre Green News

When it comes to green news, there’s certainly no shortage of bizarre stories to go around. But it’s not all about the latest weird green gadget or the strangest sources of renewable energy. Sometimes, the stories are just crazy in and of themselves, from the president of PETA requesting that her dead body be barbecued and eaten to honeybees getting addicted to cocaine.

We dug through the EarthFirst.com archives to find some of the most mind-boggling bizarro stories of the past year, and we’ve got some doozies to revisit. Check it out:

WTF, Broccoli?! Check Out This Cascadian Farms Package

Someone at Cascadian Farms has a great sense of humor. Bloggers Alicia Carrier and Summer Allen-Gibson of Bread & Honey noticed something funny recently on a bag of broccoli, and took to the web to share it with all of us. Read More

Student Group Eats a Cat in the Name of Animal Welfare

A group of students in Denmark have had their Facebook profiles suspended after uploading a video of them eating a cat. The students planned the cat-eating performance as a way to call attention to the plight of food animals such as pigs and cows. Read More

Dumped Corpses Give Sharks a Taste for Human Flesh

Experts believe that a pack of bull sharks in Mexico is intentionally targeting humans, after recent attacks have killed two surfers and injured another. A fourth swimmer is missing. The deadly 10-ft long sharks may have developed a taste for human flesh after feasting on corpses dumped by the mob. Read More

UK Wind Turbine Destroyed, Locals Claim UFO Did It

A 290-foot turbine was mysteriously mangled overnight on Sunday near Louth in Linconshire, United Kingdom with local residents claiming to have seen an octopus-like UFO. Experts have ruled out most of the more believable explanations, like a meteor or lightning strike. Read More

PETA President Wills Her Body to Become BBQ & Leather Goods

PETA did it again. Stomach-turning publicity stunts are nothing new to the animal rights organization, but the latest one will make you lose your lunch (fair warning). PETA President Ingrid Newkirk has willed her body to the group along with a gross list of instructions on what they should do with each body part after she’s dead. Read More

Shrimp on a Treadmill Helps Scientists Study Climate Change Effects

By now you may have seen the strange YouTube video that shows a shrimp inexplicably running on an underwater treadmill to the tune of ‘The Final Countdown’, the Benny Hill theme, the Rocky theme and several other humorous and inspirational anthems. Funny as it may be to see this little guy running with all its might, the shrimp on a treadmill is actually part of a serious science experiment. Read More

Honeybees Susceptible to Cocaine Addiction

Despite the fact that cocaine repels most insects, researchers have found that honeybees can become addicted to the substance and even suffer withdrawal symptoms. Bees on cocaine behave the same way humans do, throwing themselves into highly energetic dance routines and talking incessantly to their nest mates. Read More

‘Ronald McDonald’ Opens Up About Cruel Slaughtering Practices

“Who cares about those PETA pricks, and who cares about the chickens? They’re just animals!” That’s what ‘Ronald McDonald’ (Andy Dick) had to say about McDonalds’ slaughtering practices to famed celebrity interviewer Jiminy Glick (Martin Short) in a new video from FunnyorDie.com.

Dick makes for quite a frightening, deranged-looking Ronald McDonald as they discuss boiling chickens alive. “What I say to the chickens is, ‘You deserve a break today. In your legs.”

Check it out:

The video is hilarious, but they’re actually calling attention to a real problem. As Ecorazzi reports,

“McDonald’s U.S. and Canadian chicken suppliers abuse birds using a cruel and outdated method of slaughter. Birds often have their bones broken and their throats cut while they are still conscious, and many birds are immersed in tanks of scalding-hot water while they are still alive and able to feel pain.”

And, yes, you can learn more about it at PETA.org.

Link [Ecorazzi]

Another Day, Another Weird PETA Story

You’ve gotta hand it to them, PETA are masters at getting attention. All attention whores across the world should pay close attention to PETA’s tactics. They work. The animal rights organization is in the news once again after making a bizarre request of a UK pop group and getting rejected. They wanted the Pet Shop Boys to change their name to the “Rescue Shelter Boys”.

From BBC News, via Ecorazzi:

“Peta Europe has written to Pet Shop Boys with a request they are unable to agree to,” reads a post on the band’s official website. But the band admits the request “raises an issue worth thinking about”. Peta’s letter requests the name change due to the cruelty which they allege takes place in the pet trade. If the band were to agree to the name change, it continues, it would “encourage your millions of fans to consider giving a home to an abandoned or unwanted animal from an animal shelter”.

Even with the rejection, PETA has highlighted the issue of the mistreatment of animals sold at pet shops versus animals that can be adopted from rescue shelters. Bravo. Hey, at least this time they’re not requesting for dead human bodies to be turned into BBQ.

Link [BBC News] via [Ecorazzi]

PETA’s Newest Spokesperson: Rush Limbaugh

In a move that sharply contrasts with his carefully cultivated public persona, conservative icon Rush Limbaugh, the self-proclaimed Leader of the Republican Party, has become the latest spokesperson for controversial animal rights group PETA. A tearful Limbaugh admitted in a press conference this morning that animals and the environment are his true passion, and he’s tired of living “the conservative lie”.

PETA is no stranger to publicity stunts, and like Limbaugh, the organization thrives on shocking the sensibilities of the public with outrageous statements and acts that expose a deep-seated need for attention. Both Limbaugh and PETA have their respective legions of salivating devotees, but it remains to be seen whether the two groups can mesh successfully.

Limbaugh revealed in the press conference that he has been a lifelong environmental and animal rights activist, operating in secret, often as a costumed participant in PETA rallies like the one pictured below so as to protect his identity. While fans of his screaming rants against the Obama administration and liberals in general may have trouble swallowing his new role, Limbaugh hopes they’ll come around.

“I can only hope that they’ll understand. I mean, they already take everything I say as gospel and hang on to my every word, so it’s only a matter of time, right?” he whimpered. “Over time, I hope they’ll join me in my quest to save the planet.”

Rush fans will be disappointed to learn that their hero’s much-anticipated nude appearance in an ‘I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur’ ad is not set to debut until next month, but we got our hands on a preview image (above). Makes you want to save the whales, doesn’t it?

Link [PETA]

Russia Bans Baby Seal Massacre, Canada Continues Killing Spree

Baby seals are safe from being massacred in Russia, as the country announced Wednesday that it had banned hunting the animals. The announcement came weeks after Prime Minister Vladimir Putin called it a “bloody industry”.  Anti-seal hunting protesters had gathered in 20 cities and towns across Russia this week to urge a halt to the practice.

From Reuters:

“The bloody sight of the hunting of seals, the slaughter of these defenseless animals which you cannot even call a real hunt, is banned in our country, just as well as in most developed countries, and is a serious step to protect the biodiversity of the Russian Federation,” the minister for natural resources, Yuri Trutnev, said in a statement.

Seals inhabit Russia’s White Sea region in the Arctic. As in Canada and Norway, hunters target the fluffy baby seals — also known as “whitecoats” for their highly valued snow-white fur — in early spring and club thousands to death.

Meanwhile, the annual Canadian baby seal killing extravaganza is set to begin later this month. Green Daily gives us some gruesome details:

I mean, how can sealers still be allowed to:

* “hunt” a couple hundred thousand baby seals
* use a club like a caveman (i.e. hit them with a big blunt stick)
* only half kill them
* strip the skins off their painfully still-breathing bodies, and
* sell each pelt for a rocking $30 — Canadian dollars, to add insult to injury!

Btw, did I mention that hunters kill the baby seals? In front of the mother seals? Often the seal pups are just a few weeks old, and some haven’t even been in the water. Apparently that soft baby fur is what rich old ladies and vain men like best.

So, what can you do to help? Sign this online PETA petition and then join celebrity chef Cat Cora in boycotting Canadian seafood to send Canada the message that we won’t tolerate the continuation of this cruel practice. Sign a pledge at the Humane Society of the United States and then get as many of your friends and family to sign as you can. The person who gathers the most signatures will win a visit to New York City to hang with Cat and have your photo taken by photographer Nigel Barker of America’s Next Top Model.

Learn more about the killing of these innocent, fluffy, ridiculously cute animals at the Humane Society’s ‘Protect Seals 2009’ website.

Link [Reuters] + [Green Daily] + [HSUS]
Photo credit: HSUS, MyPointIs.net

PETA President Wills Her Body to Become BBQ & Leather Goods

PETA did it again. Stomach-turning publicity stunts are nothing new to the animal rights organization, but the latest one will make you lose your lunch (fair warning). PETA President Ingrid Newkirk has willed her body to the group along with a gross list of instructions on what they should do with each body part after she’s dead.

From Treehugger:

The Bizarre Will of Ingrid Newkirk

Here’s an abridged list of Newkirk’s directions for PETA to follow with her body:

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed

Will does not specify who is to be served at the event, or whether there shall be beach volleyball.

b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed.

c. my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them, as a reminder of the depravity of killing innocent animals, such as elephants, in order that we might use their body parts for household items and decorations;

Got to give Newkirk credit for creativity for that one—umbrella stands? However, from here on out, things take a turn for the worse . . .

d.That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals.

That’s not all – she also requested that her pointing finger be delivered to the owner of Ringling Bros. + Barnum & Bailey Circus, that her liver be vacuum-packed and shipped to France to be sold as human foie gras, and that her thumbs be removed and mounted to plaques to serve as immortal thumbs-up and thumbs-down PETA awards.

The rest of the will can be read over at the PETA website. It actually goes into the legal details on how to best accomplish her wishes. The will was actually released last year, but this is the first we’ve heard of it. Though nothing is really shocking coming from PETA, you gotta admit this one is an eyebrow-raiser to say the least.

Mmm, don’t you love the smell of wrinkled lady parts slathered in barbecue sauce sizzling on the grill?

Link [Treehugger]

Fox News Belittles Animal Rights, Slams Kids Trying to Go Green

There’s not much that Fox News can do to surprise me. We can pretty well expect anything that comes from this so-called ‘news’ organization to be ignorant, narrow-minded and self-serving despite their ‘fair and balanced’ claims. Yet, a roomful of Fox talking heads eating KFC while insulting people who actually give a shit about things other than themselves seems so self-parodying I wonder why SNL didn’t think of it first. Watch it for yourself:

I can’t say it much better than Michael over at Ecorazzi did:

“The greatest thing about this story,” said Gutfeld commenting on two women in bikinis protesting outside a KFC, “is that they claim to be PETA members. I’m sure that if any of us went to an actual PETA meeting, we would not find anybody remotely attractive. They are a bunch of lowly people.”

While passing around a bucket of KFC chicken, Gutfeld responded as to why PETA was protesting saying, “The weird thing about making fried chicken? Chickens die in the process. It’s really hard to keep them alive while you eat them.” Really, Greg? Is that the reason? That’s some fine balanced reporting.

Not content to take his dick out of his mouth just yet, Gutfeld then went on to slam kids that are going green and trying to educate their parents as well. “This makes me wish that I could have kids,” he said, “so I could punish them.”

As I’ve said before here on EarthFirst, I’m not the biggest fan of PETA’s tactics, simply because they sometimes do more harm than good and end up making all vegetarians and animal rights advocates look like kooks. But, PETA does a lot of important work on behalf of creatures in this world that can’t speak up for themselves, and the conditions at the factory farms where KFC get their chickens from really are appalling.

But, it’s really the part where they ridicule kids trying to be environmentally responsible that gets me. God forbid that there are children in America who care about important things instead of just toys and television.

Then there’s his comment about us crazy environmentalists who “think the environment is more important than humanity”. What Greg Gutfeld and the other smug assholes sitting around this table don’t seem to get is the fact that, without a healthy environment, there can be no humanity.

Link [Ecorazzi]

Eva Mendes Wants to Get Naked with Morrissey for PETA

Actress Eva Mendes appeared in a ‘I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur’ ad for PETA last winter, and she’s eager to do it again – as long as Morrissey will do it with her.  Eva is apparently a big fan of the singer, who fronted The Smiths before embarking on a solo career in the ‘90s. Morrissey is a vocal animal rights activist and vegan and The Smiths album ‘Meat is Murder’ inspired thousands of mopey college kids around the globe to follow in his footsteps.

From Ecorazzi:

“I really want to do a PETA ad with Morrissey, I’d be happy to do it naked if need be,” she told the UK Sun. “I’ve done a lot of work with them and I know Morrissey is a big supported of PETA, so here’s hoping! Whether Morrissey would want to get naked with me is another question. Maybe he could come up with something more creative than out-and-out nudity.”

“When he sings it’s poetry in motion to me. It completely speaks to me. I love Morrissey, but I don’t think I’d want to marry him,” she added.

Sorry Eva, but um, somehow I don’t think you’re his type anyway.

You know, when I was in college, I was a huge fan of The Smiths and had the ‘Meat is Murder’ bumper sticker from PETA on my car. I can’t tell you how many times that bumper sticker got covered up, written on, smeared with dog shit and otherwise defaced. Then one time, I was going through the drive-thru at Burger King to get a veggie burger and a homeless dude that was standing by the window actually peed on it (the bumper sticker, not the veggie burger) and yelled ‘hypocrite’ at me. Turns out, people have strong reactions to the phrase ‘meat is murder’, especially when they think you’re about to eat some beef. Go figure.

Link [Ecorazzi]

Buckingham Palace Guardsmen May Get Designer Fur-Free Hats

Earlier this week, beloved British comedian Ricky Gervais (of the original Office and Extras, in case you live under a rock or are severely comedically deprived) made headlines when he wrote to Prime Minister Gordon Brown asking him to find an alternative to using fur in the Buckingham Palace Guardesmen’s bearskin hats.  After the news got out, some people started joking about having famed PETA ally and vegetarian designer Stella McCartney to design new, cruelty-free hats.  It seems that those jokes might have something to them after all.

From Ecorazzi:

This week, Baroness Taylor, the Minister for Defence procurement (and in charge of acquiring all military equipment), will meet with PETA to discuss synthetic materials or other replacements for the bear fur. PETA has tapped British designer Vivienne Westwood to come up with something “innovative”, while Stella McCartney and the US designer Marc Bouwer have both agreed to produce caps if commissioned by the MoD.

It currently takes one black bear for every hat worn by the Buckingham guard. 50-100 new hats are needed every year. Over the past five years the MoD has spent more than $600,000 on bear skins. If this meeting proves successful — and it looks like there’s a serious chance — then a major step forward in saving the black bear of North America will have been taken.

There are so many humane alternatives out there, and while some may argue that the hats are an important and sentimental link to the past, we’re finally entering an age of consciousness and responsibility.  We can’t wait to see what the designers come up with.  Thanks, Ricky!

Link [Ecorazzi]
Photo credit: Metro.co.uk

PETA Fail: Runs Ad Comparing Greyhound Horror Killing to Animal Slaughterhouse Killing Horror

PETA has done it again.

In a not-so-surprising-for-PETA show of good taste, the animal rights group attempted to run an ad comparing animal slaughter to the brutal murder of Tim McClean, the 22-year-old who was beheaded by Vince Weiguang Li on a Greyhound bus in Winnipeg bound Canadian bus on July 30.

“His struggles and cries are ignored … the man with the knife shows no emotion … the victim is slaughtered and his head cut off … his flesh is eaten,” reads the ad, which can be seen on the organization’s website.

The ad was intended to run in the Portage la Prairie Daily Graphic. The newspaper refused it. Rightly so.

If PETA was intending to make themselves look like insane, insensitive radicals who write heavy-handed copy more befitting of Emily Bronte novels, they’ve succeeded. They’ve done a bang-up job of alienating pretty much everyone. Well done, guys. This was definitely a classy choice.

Link [Globe & Mail]

Slaughterhouse Worker Injured by Falling Dead Cow; Karma Wins Again

A 30-year-old slaughterhouse worker was doing what he does every day – waiting for big dead cows strung up on hooks to come down the line so he could butcher them. But on Monday, one of those dead cows got the last laugh. In an apparent attempt to posthumously exact revenge from one of the humans that robbed it of its life and desecrated its remains, the cow fell off the hook and right on top of the butcher.

From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Milwaukee Fire Department spokeswoman Tiffany Wynn said the cow fell off the hook and onto the man, hitting him on the shoulder and neck at Cargill Inc., 1915 W. Canal St., just before noon. She said it was a whole cow and the victim was about to butcher it. He suffered moderate but not life-threatening injuries and was taken to Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare-St. Francis hospital for treatment.

Police are investigating how the cow fell on top of the man and determining whether an investigator from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration will have to look at the details of the case as an industrial accident.

Revenge of the Undead Cows! There’s this thing called karma.  In all seriousness, this guy’s life must suck. He stands around wielding a big knife, covered in blood and guts all day and then gets taken out by a giant carcass.

Link [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
Photo credit: PETA via Vegan Outreach

KFC to Offer Vegan Chicken in Canada

After years of dramatic protests outside KFC’s all over the world, the Canadian branch of the fast food giant has cut a deal with PETA to improve its chicken slaughter conditions and introduce vegan options on their menu. That’s right – vegan ‘chicken’, at KFC of all places.

From kypost.com:

“It means more choice for people who are vegetarian and more options for people thinking about it,” said David Alexander, director of operations for the Toronto Vegetarian Association.

PETA will now call off its Kentucky Fried Cruelty campaign in Canada, which was supported by many celebrities including Canadians Pamela Anderson and Ryan Gosling. KFC Canada pledged to buy from suppliers who gas their chickens, what PETA calls “the least cruel form of poultry slaughter ever developed.”

PETA will continue to press KFC in the United States and elsewhere to change its slaughter practices – and sell unchicken, as 461 KFC Canadian chain stores have agreed to do.

“KFC is sort of taking a bit of leadership on the issue,” said Alexander, a vegetarian for two years. “We’ve moved beyond the era of the veggie burger, I think.”

Interesting. Using more humane methods to slaughter their chickens is downright awesome, and a huge victory for PETA, who have practically waged war against KFC for decades. It’s awesome to see a big chain agree to rethink their slaughter practices, because, in case you’re ignorant of the issue (as many people go out of their way to remain), they really are disgusting and cruel in most cases.

It’s very surprising that KFC would be willing to offer vegan ‘chicken’, made mostly of soy, at their restaurants – but hey, it’s a good thing. Maybe some meat eaters will even make the switch, if it tastes good enough, and that would mean fewer animals being raised and slaughtered overall. And of course, vegetarians want fast food, too.

Link [kypost.com]
Photo credit: United Poultry Concerns

’30 Days’ Sends a Hunter to Live with Animal Rights Activists

At first glance, one might equate the FX show ’30 Days’ with similar set-ups on reality television like ‘Wife Swap’. The purpose is clear from the get-go: to help people with radically different ideologies come to an understanding about each other, and even if they don’t ultimately agree, they’re expected to gain some sense of a middle ground. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. What sets this show apart is that it deals with real issues, and keeps the made-for-TV manufactured drama to a minimum.

This episode, entitled ‘Animal Rights’, puts hunter George Snedeker into the home of Melissa Karpel, an events coordinator for PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

“A deer, cow, a chicken… their sole purpose is to feed us,” George says before leaving his North Carolina home for Los Angeles. George’s intention going into this wasn’t to gain some cloud-piercing revelation that would change his life, or even to convince the animal rights activists to agree with his views. All he wanted, he said, was to understand why these people can be ‘so extreme’.

Melissa certainly holds views about animals that are opposite those of George. She firmly believes that animals do not belong to humans for food, clothing, experiments or entertainment. Melissa stated early on that all she wanted was to show George what it’s like to live with a family who happen to be vegans and animal rights activists, but it became clear that she was truly hoping to help George see the light.

Forcing George to dress up in a chicken costume as part of a KFC protest probably wasn’t the best way to get started, and indeed, it set the mood for the week that followed, which was full of angry, emotional arguments between George and Melissa.

Once George started working at an animal sanctuary, he also clashed with director Lorri Bauston, but after his day-to-day work with the animals, George did begin to understand the extent to which animals are mistreated on factory farms. This face-to-face interaction with abused animals is far more effective for the skeptical George than taking part in shouting, overly dramatic protests. Lorri’s insensitive comparison of killing chickens to the Holocaust, however, threatened to derail the progress.

Similarly, when George visited the office of Dr. Aysha Akhtar to learn about animal testing, Dr. Akhtar’s rational explanation of the extremely low rates at which animal testing were even helpful for humans and display of alternatives seemed to make more of an impression on George, who was impressed that he “finally got to talk to somebody that had something besides a rant.”

Seeing the treatment of cows at a dairy farm and the plight of many domestic animals in shelters did help George see the animal rights cause from a different angle. By the end of the episode, George was willingly explaining to strangers in a supermarket how calves on factory farms are crammed into tight spaces unable to turn around. George declared his surprise at the fact that, despite being ‘hard-headed’, he felt that he had been truly affected by what he had learned. George probably won’t stop hunting or eating meat, but he’ll likely think twice about how animals were treated before they end up on his plate.

Ultimately, PETA’s black-and-white views and shove-it-down-your-throat delivery of their message didn’t exactly enhance Melissa’s message. If anything, it damages many efforts to improve the lives of animals because it automatically puts people with differing views on the offensive. Putting PETA activists together with an avid hunter makes for good TV, but the message may have been more effective if PETA were left out of it.

Initially, when the episode first started, I thought that perhaps the producers of ’30 Days’ intended for Melissa to learn that she may want to soften the presentation of her views in order to make a bigger impact, but that doesn’t seem to have been the case. I think that what this episode illustrates by the end, however, is that educating people about the reality of the way animals are treated before they’re on our plates, made into our belts and shoes – or after we drop them off at the pound – is far more effective than stunts and scare tactics.

It’s a shame that the idea of more humane processes for meat and dairy weren’t explored further in this episode, because that’s where I think a true middle ground lies. Humans – as natural omnivores and the presiding predators on the planet – will not be likely to forgo using animals for food and clothing any time soon. However, needless suffering could certainly be eliminated.

In our quest for greater convenience, we have allowed millions of animals to be beaten, electrocuted, blinded, skinned alive, chemically manipulated, crammed into tiny spaces, thrown around like inanimate objects and generally treated like they cannot feel at all. Increased sensitivity to the pain and suffering of animals – and their right to be treated in a way that respects their place on the planet – is the only way to compromise, as George the hunter was able to acknowledge for himself after 30 days.

You can view the episode online at Hulu or just watch here:

Link [Hulu] + [FX]

Jessica Simpson Gets PETA Smackdown for ‘Real Girls Eat Meat’ T-Shirt

Jessica Simpson is an easy target: she knowingly marketed herself as a dumbass. Therefore, the gloves are off when she does breathtakingly stupid things like wear a t-shirt that says ‘Real Girls Eat Meat’. With sagging album sales and straight-to-DVD films, Jessica doesn’t have much room to alienate people, and yet she walked out in public like that where she knew paparazzi would be waiting. For the most part, vegetarians aren’t likely to be offended, since she’s hardly worth the publicity it would give her. PETA, however, can never resist an opportunity to bash a celeb that promotes the slaughter of animals.

Ecorazzi has it:

On Saturday Ecorazzi told you that Jessica Simpson was seen at the LAX airport wearing a shirt that read “Real Girls Eat Meat.” In the post I predicted that “you just know PETA’s gonna spit when they see this.” Well PETA is spitting alright…spitting a whole bunch of plant-based venom.

PETA released a statement saying: ”Jessica Simpson’s meaty wardrobe malfunction makes us thankful that no one is looking to her for food advice. Chicken of the sea anyone? The woman who thought that Buffalo ‘Wings’ came from buffalos would benefit from some good veggie brain food.” Ouch!

All the brain food in the world can’t save this slag. She’s hopeless. Maybe the controversy will get her a tiny section of the cover of a tabloid, though, and that’s probably what she wants.

Link [Ecorazzi]
Photo credit: Just Jared

Lab Grown Meat: PETA’s Contest is Lame, Pointless

PETA is at it again, and if you didn’t groan at least internally when you heard that, perhaps they’ve pushed you past your give-a-shit limit. They put out a press release announcing that they’d give a $1 million reward to the first person who can successfully ‘grow’ chicken in a lab without harming animals. From PETA.org:

In vitro meat production would use animal stem cells that would be placed in a medium to grow and reproduce. The result would mimic flesh and could be cooked and eaten. Some promising steps have been made toward this technology, but we’re still several years away from having in vitro meat be available to the general public.

At first when I heard this, I thought it was just another one of PETA’s publicity stunts: putting out something shocking to draw attention to an issue. As a vegetarian since the age of 12 and someone who cares deeply about animal rights, I’ve never been a fan of PETA and this sort of thing is exactly why. PETA frustrates me because they have a noble goal but they’re turning the entire animal rights issue into a freak show replete with naked celebrities, buckets of blood and gross-out tactics that turn off the general public rather than achieving anything real.

Unfortunately, they’re serious. They really want someone to make this work. So, why is this lab-grown chicken contest a bad thing? You may wonder why a vegetarian would be anything less than thrilled about the idea of fewer animals being harmed on a daily basis (and, after all, livestock farms are certainly not good for the planet).

Basically, this contest isn’t going to accomplish anything. First of all, $1 million wouldn’t even cover the expenses required to pull this off. Not only would researchers have to spend literally years working on this project, the contest requires them to do near-impossible sales and marketing tasks beyond the scope of science. Daniel Engber of Slate describes it well:

…they need to move 2,000 pounds of the stuff at supermarkets and chain restaurants spread out across 10 states during a period of three months. And the Franken-meat can’t cost more than regular chicken…

To make matters worse, PETA’s commercial requirements saddle researchers with demands that have nothing to do with science. Any company that wants to sell artificial chicken for public consumption will probably face a lengthy government-review process.

In short, PETA is asking for the impossible. Any researcher who puts a serious amount of thought into this contest will most likely realize that they simply don’t have the time or funds to accomplish the lab-meat feat.

This ‘lab grown meat’ stunt is just another example of PETA making vegetarians look bad, in my opinion. I can’t imagine that ‘Franken-meat’ would be all that appetizing to meat-eaters anyway, but you tell me: would you eat it?

Link [PETA] + [Slate]

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons & Flickr user karindalziel