Economy VS Planet Earth

In the ever changing daily push and pull between the failing global economy and whats good our planet Earth, here is the latest cartoon which sadly puts the odds in full view.

Hourglass to Oblivion

Here is the latest Cartoon from Earthfirst.com’s own Jerry King, a sad but seemingly true commentary on the current sate of affairs. Let us know what you think, and send us some of your ideas for future cartoons…..enjoy

7 Green Ways to Lose Friends and Alienate People

You may take a lot of pride in being deep, dark green – but what you see as shining examples of eco-sainthood may come off to the rest of the world as rude, condescending and downright disgusting. Nobody wants to be friends with a sanctimonious bastard that looks and smells like he just rolled out of a dumpster. If any of these 7 greener-than-thou missteps apply to you, it might be time to tone down the smug and improve your personal hygiene.

7. Giving unsolicited green tips while in someone else’s home

Are you an eco consultant? Great! People will pay you good money to tell them what’s not green about their home and how to fix it. Otherwise, shut up. Going to a friend’s house and nitpicking everything you see that’s less than spectacularly eco-friendly is a fast-track to a lot of unreturned phone calls.  Skipping the ‘suggestion’ part and simply walking around their house turning lights and electronics off is a great way to end up with a boot in your ass.

Sure, you’ve got some golden nuggets of green wisdom to share and you hate to see people throw their money away and harm the environment. If it comes up in conversation, offering your tips is great – but critiquing people’s habits and possessions unprompted will get you branded as an eco-snob.

6. Hoarding in an attempt to cut back household waste

You cut back the amount of trash that you send to the curb every week by 75%. Congratulations! Now, if only you could make a tunnel through all of those plastic bottles and packing peanuts to get to the bathroom…

Holding on to stuff like electronics, batteries or light bulbs long enough to make a trip to a recycling center is cool – but hoarding tons of trash just so you can say you didn’t throw it out doesn’t accomplish anything. It’ll get thrown out, eventually – when your neighbors realize they haven’t seen you for weeks and the cops discover your body under a pile of rotting food, junk mail and used condoms. The idea is to cut back your consumption of throwaway stuff in the first place, not to turn your home into a public health hazard.

5. Ungraciously refusing gifts that aren’t green enough

So, Uncle Ted gave you a Wal-Mart gift card for Christmas and the look on your face when you opened it didn’t exactly convey the gratitude he expected. You were horrified, and decided to make your righteous indignation loud and clear so everyone in the family could learn a lesson about how Wal-Mart is an evil corporate virus that’s destroying the environment. That’s a great way to make everyone think you’re a stuck-up asshole who has no appreciation for nice gestures.

Take the gift card (or whatever), thank the person who gave it to you and donate it to someone who really needs it – or use it in any green way you can possibly think of. Letting people know, especially ahead of the holidays, that you prefer eco-friendly gifts is cool – but not right after receiving something that doesn’t pass muster.

4. Being the Green Office Nazi

Suggesting green changes in your office is a great way to spread sustainability. Taking it upon yourself to ration office supplies is not. Guarding the supply closet like it’s Fort Knox and snatching paper out of the secretary’s hand because she’s already used 3 sheets today isn’t going to win you any green converts.

Instead of loudly berating your co-workers for using paper cups and tossing used batteries in the trash can, put your well-meaning energy to work in a way that might actually accomplish something. Talk to your bosses about how going green could save them money and they’ll be more than happy to provide some recycling bins, refillable pens, recycled paper and other eco-friendly supplies.

3. Mistaking gag-inducing body funk for pleasant ‘natural scent’

It’s true that not everyone needs to wear deodorant. Some people are blessed with armpits that don’t knock other people over with noxious clouds of funk – but others seem to think that body odor is cool as long as you’re going deodorant-free to be green. If people’s faces are melting in horror and disgust when you pass them on the street, it’s time to address your problem.

We’re not suggesting that you douse yourself in AXE body spray. But seriously, a little deodorant can be a really good thing, and despite any frustration you may have experienced in the past with natural deodorants that don’t work, there are some that do. Kiss My Face Liquid Rock, for one, works just as well as conventional brands and is very safe and gentle.

2. Conserving water… by not showering

Throwing personal hygiene out the window in order to be green just isn’t necessary or fair to the people who have to be close to you at any given time. Going without deodorant is bad enough, but deciding not to bathe altogether ventures into Howard Hughes territory. When your hair looks like you could squeeze out enough oil to fry up a batch of hush puppies and your ears start to smell like parmesan cheese, you’ve taken it much too far.

We’ve all got to bathe, and with low-flow showerheads, timers and biodegradable cleansers, you can keep yourself passably clean without too much guilt.

1. Forcing guests to use “Family Cloth”

To follow the mantra “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down” in your own home is a fine way to cut back on use of resources in the bathroom. Even putting a sign up for your guests is okay, though some will be too squicked out to comply. However, ‘family cloth’ takes bathroom eco-friendliness a bit too far when it comes to guests.

For those unfamiliar, ‘family cloth’ is a term for washable fabric wipes as an alternative to toilet paper. Yes, it’s ultra-green, especially considering that most toilet paper is made from virgin tree pulp – but your friends probably don’t want to share ass-wiping cloths with you. Provide backup toilet paper for guests, for the love of all things holy.

9 Easy Ways to Green Up Your Life

(image via: Ecorazzi)

Greening up your life can seem really overwhelming at first. There are so many tips out there that it seems impossible to do them all, and really, where do you start when you own 7 homes, 13 vehicles, a private jet and 2 restaurants? Forget the vulgar suggestions that require you to lower yourself to the level of the unwashed masses, like drying your Valentino suits on a clothesline. Maintain your dignity by using these 9 easy ways to green up your life instead.

(image via AutoFriends)

9. Get a Tesla Roadster. This is the best place to start, and since the Tesla is both green and extremely sexy, you’ll be eager to drive it as often as possible. Not too often, because you don’t want it to look like you only own one car. But it’s 100% electric and only costs $100,000 – a small price to pay for the good publicity you’ll get in that Ecorazzi write-up.

(image via HollyScoop)

8. Use Richard Branson’s new bio jet fuel in your private plane. What’s good enough for Virgin Airlines is good enough for you, and on those occasions when only your private jet will do, now you can fly without using fossil fuels. It’ll really come in handy when you need to transport your stylist from LA to Rome for the night and would otherwise feel a twinge of guilt.

(image via: Politico)

7. Try to cut down on your travel. Think about flying to Europe instead of the Far East for New Year’s Eve. Just imagine the thousands of pounds of CO2 you’ll save by flying from LA to NYC for a quick lunch instead of going across the Atlantic to Paris. It does involve some sacrifice, but you’ve got to be willing to adjust your lifestyle in order to help the planet.

(image via: CelebChefs)

6. Have your private chef use locally grown vegetables and meat, and possibly even consider buying an existing organic farm. Build a bakery off the service kitchen so your personal baker can bake fresh bread, biscuits, and pastries. Make sure you’ve got enough space for your personal cheesemaker to work – you’d be surprised how much room cheesemaking requires. All of this will ensure that your food barely needs to travel at all before appearing on your plate.

(image via: Ecorazzi)

5. When going on vacation, consider renting Johnny Depp’s eco-resort island. If you’re a pal, you can get it for only $10k a week, so call in that favor. Have your assistant anonymously tip off the paparazzi so they can get plenty of grainy shots of you and your entourage enjoying organic cocktails and lounging around on a solar- and biofuel-powered yacht.

(image via: AutoBlog Green)

4. When car companies send you SUV’s using FedEx Overnight, buy carbon credits to offset the flight. Otherwise, you might get bad publicity. Carbon offsets are such an easy way to erase those ‘oopsies’ when you forget that you’re supposed to be conserving, reducing and recycling, and let’s face it – you just can’t avoid having those moments every now and then.

(image via: DailyKitten)

3. Reuse your dental floss. Just kidding, we thought we’d throw in an utterly disgusting tip that only coarse patchouli-scented proletariats would do to see if you were paying attention.

(image via: Ecorazzi)

2. Put solar panels up on top of all your houses, guest homes, horse barns, recording studios, basketball courts, and merry go-rounds. Sure, the initial expense is high, but you can afford it – and you’ll get your money back over time. All those buildings sure do use a lot of electricity, and with solar power, you won’t have to feel guilty leaving the lights on in unoccupied rooms all the time.

(image via: PopSugar)

1. Have your nanny use public transportation to cut down on her carbon footprint. Obviously, you wouldn’t deign to step foot on a bus or subway (eww, vagrants and coughing plebeians), but there’s no need for the help to be wasting resources and polluting the earth by driving in a private car. Firmly explain the benefits of public transportation and why it’s so important for her to use it – she’ll likely understand. If she doesn’t, there are plenty of nannies out there that don’t even own their own car. See? Easy!

Big thanks to our former editor Shea Gunther for his creative input!

‘Stuff Environmentalists Like’ – Why Didn’t We Think of This First?

Ecorazzi reminded me of a fantastic article I read in the most recent issue of Plenty Magazine entitled ‘Stuff Environmentalists Like’. It’s written by Christian Lander, the same guy who writes the hilarious ‘Stuff White People Like’ blog. Like ‘Stuff White People Like’, the Plenty Mag article is funny because it’s so damn true.

From the article:

Traditionally, environmentalists have not been in very high demand as friends. This is in part because they have developed a reputation for being long-winded and angry about the state of things, because they want you to replace all of your belongings with green ones, and because until now, they have been largely inaccessible, living in communal farms in Vermont and in the world’s biggest hippie compound—commonly referred to as the Pacific Northwest. They can seem like a very difficult group to infiltrate and eventually exploit.

Do not let this deter you from entering into what can be a financially and emotionally beneficial alliance. Understanding and talking about the things that environmentalists care about most will be your golden ticket to free lightbulbs, handmade soap, and many other perks.

Plenty Mag is featuring sections from this cover story on their website, one week at a time, but if you just can’t wait to read the whole thing, I suggest you run out and buy the issue before it’s off newsstands – and subscribe while you’re at it, because Plenty Mag is one of the most entertaining and well-put-together environmental magazines out there.

The article features tips on befriending environmentalists including “Bringing numerous talking points to dinner’, ‘Brainwashing children’, ‘Never throwing things away’, ‘Being depressed by statistics’, ‘Knowing which ingredients in your shampoo will kill you’ and ‘Having control over everything.’ Insights include this gem about being invited over for dinner:

“You cannot assume your host is vegan or vegetarian either. Doing so could lead to a number of social faux pas that are on par with or worse than calling them a Republican.”

Link [Plenty Mag] via [Ecorazzi]

Greening Up War: A Round Table Discussion on Environmentally Friendly Killin’

The Onion nails it just right- if we’re going to torture, wage war, and ethnically cleanse, it should be in a environmentally friendly way.

H/T to the big guy Jordan for dropping this link on me.

Treehugger Commenters Have No Sense of Humor: Must be Nipple Chaffage

Lloyd Alter is one of my favorite Treehugger writers. He mostly covers green architecture but isn’t afraid to wander into other green realms. He’s a really smart dude and a great writer and he just got dogpiled by a bunch of Treehugger commenters for a tongue in cheek post –tagged with “Humor” — he wrote about the 88 pounds of petroleum jelly that will be used during the London Marathon.

His entire post was a one sentence pull out quote:

If recent years are any guide, 40 kilograms, (88 pounds) of petroleum jelly will be used during today’s London Marathon to prevent chaffing, blistering and “runner’s nipple.”

and a link to the story.

Unleash the dogs of Holy Hell, because here come the crazy greenies! They are not happy. Not happy at all.

Here are a few of the choice comments:

what an idiotic article.

Im glad to see that the tree huggers are finally starting to admit that global climate change has NO affect on hurricanes.
maybe soon they will realize that the people of this world do not have the affect on this planet that they think they do. Sorry, but you guys are all going to look like fools in ten to twenty years.

conroy

&

Llyod,

Since you haven’t indicated you’re joking, then one has to assume you’re rather dim: the amount of petroleum used by runners is on the scale of worldwide use, infinitesimal.

I hope that, for the sake of the site, you retract, or that a treehuger editor resects. This entry cheapens your publication.

Luckily Nick chimes in to help prove that not all Treehugger readers are uptight assholes folks with stunted senses of humor with:

BACK IN THE HOLES, TROLLS.

Are we all unable to take a joke?

And failing that, did nobody see the “Humour” tag at the bottom of the article?

In my opinion, it’s good to have little jabs like this, to get us to laugh at ourselves. It keeps us from getting too self-righteous about environmental causes, which makes our entire movement more approachable to and resonant with the public at large. Treehugger PROtip: If it looks like a silly article, take it with a grain of salt. The writers here have a sense of humour.

And here I thought Treehugger was the one with the intelligent readership.

Link [Treehugger]