Global Warming Deniers Pretend to be Scientists for Anti-Kyoto Petition

The Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine held a press conference yesterday announcing that 31,000 scientists had signed a petition rejecting the notion of man-created global warming. The problem is, most of these people aren’t even scientists.

Envirowonk checked it out, and what they found is pretty hilarious:

So what does it take to be included among the 31,000 “experts” on the petition? Well, according to the OISM criteria, any undergraduate science degree will do just fine. Bet you never thought that BS you earned 20 years ago made you a qualified climatologist. Congratulations!

OISM also wants to let you know that 9,021 of the signers hold PhDs. They don’t specify what the doctorates are in, but they repeat that figure quite a bit, as if it means something. Since the group was nice enough to list all 31,000 signers, including the dead people, let’s take a look at the qualifications of three randomly-selected “climate experts.”

• W. Kline Bolton, M.D. is a professor of medicine and Nephrology Division Chief at the University of Virginia. Nephrology deals with the study of the function and diseases of the kidney.
• Zhonggang Zeng is one of the 9,000 with a PhD. He is a professor of mathematics at Northeastern Illinois University. His most recent publication is entitled “Computing multiple roots of inexact polynomials.”
• Hub Hougland is a dentist in Muncie, Indiana. He was inducted into the Indiana Basketball Hall of Fame last year.

My, my. If these three were just randomly selected, I’d love to see a full list of how many of these ‘scientists’ are really school cafeteria ‘food science technicians’, garbage collector ‘sanitation engineers’ and mad-scientist-costumed partygoers.

Nice try, OISM, but this isn’t going to impress anyone with a brain.

Link [Envirowonk]
Photo credit: Party Theme Place

There’s Rocket Fuel in Our Water, and the EPA Says “Too Bad for You!”

In a world where we’re increasingly exposed to dangerous chemicals on a daily basis, thank goodness we have the EPA to protect us. After all, as their website states, their main goal is to protect human health and the environment. So when the EPA says that they’re not too concerned about a known toxic component of rocket fuel that harms fetuses and causes thyroid dysfunction being present in our water, I guess that means we’re in the clear, right?

Envirowonk has it:

However, they may issue a bulletin telling you that it might harm your unborn children, just so you know. At least it works out OK for the poor, impoverished Department of Defense, who’d have to fund the cleanup.

The EPA’s assistant administrator for water, Benjamin Grumbles, said he knew that perchlorate was toxic, but questioned whether regulation of drinking water was feasible or effective. He cited a Food and Drug Administration study released in January that found 81 percent of perchlorate intake by infants comes from baby foods and dairy foods, and that 74 percent of the 285 distinct foods tested contained the chemical.

Grumbles’ point that drinking water isn’t the only source of perchlorate intake is well-taken, but we’d rebut that by noting that the study he cited only dealt with infants, not adults, who are more likely to drink significant amounts of tapwater. Also, given the EPA’s jurisdiction over water pollution in all forms, not just drinking water, the fact that it’s present in food doesn’t seem to be a barrier to regulating its presence in surface and groundwater used for irrigation and livestock watering too.

Oh, I see. A bulletin warning us is enough to protect us. Plus, if it’s already in baby food and dairy, then why not just give up? We’re screwed either way, right?

Thank you, EPA. Thank you for doing your job – the job that millions of Americans take for granted that you do thoroughly and correctly. I mean, it’s only our lives on the line. And, the lives of our children. When my baby comes out looking like Sloth, I know who to call.

Link [Envirowonk]
Photo credit: Warner Bros

President Bush Claims to be a Green Local Food Proponent in Latest Speech

Ha ha, President Bush. You’re such a joker. Amidst depressing news of starving children, celebrities flying personal chefs across oceans to prepare a plate of pasta and farmers salivating over the prospect of cutting down trees in the rainforest, your hilarious comments in your most recent speech really gave us a much-needed laugh. What’s that? You weren’t joking? But in your speech the other day, you said something really funny about food prices and your own take on the situation.

From the White House:

In terms of the international situation, we are deeply concerned about food prices here at home and we’re deeply concerned about people who don’t have food abroad. In other words, scarcity is of concern to us. Last year we were very generous in our food donations, and this year we’ll be generous as well. As a matter of fact, we just released about $200 million out of the Emerson Trust as part of a ongoing effort to address scarcity.

One thing I think that would be — I know would be very creative policy is if we — is if we would buy food from local farmers as a way to help deal with scarcity, but also as a way to put in place an infrastructure so that nations can be self-sustaining and self-supporting. It’s a proposal I put forth that Congress hasn’t responded to yet, and I sincerely hope they do.

Since you said this with a straight face and seeming sincerity, you may be surprised to hear that many of us are shaking our heads in disbelief, looking at each other for answers – what proposals? Did we miss something? Did you sneak something in to Congress under a pseudonym? Hello? [Silence]

Link [EnviroWonk]

Photo credit: Flickr user azrainman