The 6 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High

Cracked.com has compiled a hilarious list of the 5 greatest things ever accomplished while high. Their two major concerns while choosing the items for this list was that the accomplishment had to be “considered great by people who could pass a field sobriety test”, and that music didn’t count. What they ended up with after striking things like the Grateful Dead from the list is this:

#5. Francis Crick Discovers DNA Thanks to LSD – In 1953 in Cambridge, Crick burst through the front door of his home spouting what his wife Odile originally thought was crazy jibberish about two spirals twisting in opposite directions from one another.

#4. Freud and Cocaine Invent Psychoanalysis – The first ten years of Sigmund Freud’s career were like a roving cocaine pep rally. He prescribed cocaine to his friends for headaches, nasal ailments or just to “give (their) cheeks a red color.”

#3. A Coke Addict Makes a Coke-Flavored Cola and Calls it Coke – John Pemberton, the Atlanta pharmacist that invented Coca Cola, claimed that the ingredient it was named after, the Coca leaf, cured everything from depression and nervousness to morphine addiction.

#2. Dock Ellis Trips His Way to a No-Hitter – The day of the no-hitter, Dock Ellis woke up around noon on what he thought was Friday and ate three tabs of acid, presumably because he was tired of Wheaties. But when his girlfriend arrived she was carrying Saturday’s newspaper, which meant he’d slept through Friday or that his girlfriend’s was a time traveler. The sports page had more bad news, he was scheduled to pitch in San Diego in six hours.

#1. Moses Takes ‘Shrooms, Shits Out Ten Commandments – Everyone wants to say how dangerous it is to use psychedelic drugs, but Moses takes a few and comes up with a set of morally sound rules that have held up for thousands of years and, for some, serves as a reason not to murder the guy in front of you who’s taking an annoyingly long time at the ATM.

Great list, but they forgot #6: Stoned Hippies Invent the Environmental Movement Because Man, Trees are Awesome.

Hippie #1: (Exhales smoke) Dude… have you ever thought about, like, how totally rad trees are? They’re like, so tall. And they give us oxygen so we can breathe, man. We wouldn’t even be alive if there were no trees, man.

Hippie #2: Yeah, trees are awesome. Hey man, I heard they’re going to cut down that big tree at the park. We should like, go sit in it. And then they um… won’t cut it down, or something.

Hippie #1: (Dreamily twirls hair, then suddenly turns to look at Hippie #2) Uhhh, what were we just talking about? Pass that back over here, man.

Okay, so the environmental movement was never really ‘invented’… it grew out of books like Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring, localized concern over natural landmarks and efforts by groups like the Sierra Club. But, hippies invented the modern environmental movement as a political force and brought it into mainstream consciousness in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, when the youth was in the midst of a cultural revolution also comprised of the antiwar movement, civil rights movement and feminist movement. But if there’s one thing we know about hippies in the ‘60s, it’s that they were almost always stoned. We’re sure that more than a little mary jane was passed around as student groups and organizations sat around in circles making “Give Earth a Chance” buttons.

Link [Cracked]
Photo credit: Classico Postcards

Young British Adventurer to Sail the Mississippi on Juice Carton Boat

Is it just me, or are there a lot of people deemed ‘British adventurers’ in the press? I rarely hear the term ‘American adventurer’, ‘Italian adventurer’ or, you know, ‘Kazakhstani adventurer’. Rhys Jones, a 22-year-old ‘British adventurer’ is set to sail the Mississippi River on a boat made of juice cartons. Jones is already known as being the youngest person ever to climb the world’s highest seven summits.

From Gizmodo:

Actually, the idea was conceived by his father after he received a book about origami. Naturally, his first thought was to build a 12-foot raft with a wooden cabin and a paper hull lined with juice cartons and sail 3,700 miles down one of the most treacherous rivers in the world.

As mentioned, the father and son team plan to set sail this weekend on what will undoubtedly be a 3-4 month trip down the river. In the end, Rhys and his father hope to recycle the boat and raise awareness about conserving the Earth’s natural resources. So remember kids, not recycling is bad, but risking your life for no apparent reason is still a-ok.

I want to go on an adventure with a British adventurer. Preferably, this one. So, David, if you need a crewmate, you know how to reach me.

Link [Gizmodo]
Photo credit: Metro.co.uk

Jack Johnson’s Concerts Keep Getting Greener

Jack Johnson is possibly the most sincere, walks-the-talk celebrity environmentalist ever. The musician from Hawaii (and one of our Top 25 Hottest Guys in Green) has a long list of environmental initiatives and achievements and it just keeps on growing. He makes sure that his concerts are uber-green – the greenest we’ve ever heard of, actually.

Jack’s not exactly the type to make typical diva demands backstage – in fact, his 9-page EnviroRider shows no signs of standard egocentric requirements like white lilies (Jennifer Lopez), no brown M&Ms (Van Halen), a wig room (Cher) or rose petals in the toilet (Barbra Streisand). Rather, it requests such things as compact fluorescent light bulbs, recycling bins, water bottle refill stations and VIP parking for hybrids.

From The Star Tribune:

“Setting up the water refill station was the biggest challenge,” said Minneapolis promoter Sue McLean, referring to how a pipe was run from the dressing room compound to a create 13-faucet watering trough. However, she wasn’t able to get the kind of recyclable cups requested.

“Some things are mandatory, some suggestions and some penalties,” she said.

Yes, there is a followup. Two weeks after the concert, Johnson’s people check back to make sure the promoters complied with waste disposal and recycling requirements. If not, the promoter is required to donate $500 to a local environmental organization. Thus far, there haven’t been any fines on the tour.

Jack also encourages fans to carpool, and his tour bus runs on biodiesel. His recording studio is mostly made up of reclaimed materials, and the plastic cases his CDs come in are made of recycled materials.

Link [The Star Tribune]