Unless Miley Cyrus Returns to Twitter, Fuzzy Will Die

Every celebrity has lunatic fans, but pole-dancing tween queen Miley Cyrus seems to have inspired a particularly fervent devotion among the completely unchained. First there was her extremely creepy stalker, and now she’s got someone threatening to kill their beloved cat if she doesn’t come back to Twitter.

Why did Miley leave Twitter? Who the hell cares? Oh, wait. This dude (or chick?) clearly does. And if Miley doesn’t come back by November 16th, Fuzzy is going to get it.

The other day I asked myself: ‘What can I do to bring Miley back to Twitter?’ Fan video? Petitions? Letters? That never works. Heck, Miley even made her own video about never wanting to use Twitter again. Then I looked at my cat, Fuzzy and I realized, maybe Fuzzy can help. Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, you see, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley’s tweets for me!

The idea is very simple. I’ve set a deadline of November 16, 2009, when Fuzzy will part with his life and become a meal. I intend to make a cat dish according to our ethnic cuisine. Check out the Recipes section for more information. Also, you can view some pictures of Fuzzy here.

I do not consider myself a cruel person and I do love my cat. Fuzzy will receive quick and swift death and I’ll try to minimize his suffering.

Wondering what, exactly, this unnamed psycho fan is going to do with Fuzzy? Well, you need look no further than MileySaveFuzzy.com, where he/she has posted a recipe for ‘Braised Cat’. This fan swears that it isn’t a hoax or a joke (though, you know how that goes).

Hey, eating cats is as normal as eating chickens in some parts of the world – and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. In fact, it’s kind of messed up that we place such sentimental significance on certain species and are totally blasé about the treatment of the ones we eat.

But eating your pet for Miley freaking Cyrus’ TWITTER ACCOUNT? Maybe you should marinate yourself and let Fuzzy put you out of your misery.

Link [MileySaveFuzzy.com]

Student Group Eats a Cat in the Name of Animal Welfare

A group of students in Denmark have had their Facebook profiles suspended after uploading a video of them eating a cat. The students planned the cat-eating performance as a way to call attention to the plight of food animals such as pigs and cows. The reaction from the community wasn’t what they had hoped for; animal rights organizations are attacking the group for the act, calling it inhumane.

From The Copenhagen Post:

Before ending up on the students’ plates, the main course lived a life as a feral cat. It had been shot by a farmer trying to control the number of cats on his land.

In addition to the 30 pictures that have now been removed from Facebook, the group’s profile also included a recipe for a dish called ‘litter box’.

According to the group, the cat was killed humanely and prepared by a professional chef. They said they had received a few raised eyebrows when plans of their meal slipped out, but were nevertheless surprised by people’s reactions and were ‘disappointed’ that the profile was no longer accessible.

‘We wanted people to think about what it was they were putting in their mouths,’ said Laura Bøge Mortensen, a group member and the editor of Citat, a student magazine that carried an article about the meal.

‘It’s hypocritical for us to spend thousands of kroner on our pets, yet buy the cheapest pork from Netto that comes from pigs that have lived a horrid life. And just why is it that it’s worse to eat a cat than a pig?’

I see their point; I am an animal rights advocate myself, and if it weren’t for my husband, I’d be a certifiable crazy cat lady. I can’t imagine ever eating a cat, but I would never eat a pig, cow, chicken or other animal deemed ‘acceptable’ by society, either – and I do think there’s a big disconnect between how we view treatment of domestic animals vs. animals traditionally raised for food. I think their act of protest is a very gutsy, but in the end a bit too much like a PETA stunt – plus, it doesn’t take into account the fact that millions of cats suffer worldwide due to overpopulation.

If you’re wondering what the cat tasted like, the students described it as “a little like chicken, with an aftertaste of fur. Slightly chewy.” Mmm!

Link [Copenhagen Post]
Photo credit: Flickr user allygirl520