For The Millionare Who Has Everything: The CarLoft Means Never Having To Say Hello (To Your Neighbors)

The other day I was wondering about hugely famous people like Oprah Winfrey, wondering if they ever even breathe fresh air anymore. I mean, a lot of celebrities drive (or are driven) from parking garage to parking garage - riding a complex series of elevators and automobiles, chutes and tunnels, until they arrive at their climate controlled destination. But what a bummer to always have to walk down the hall to the elevator that goes to the parking garage, right?

Thankfully, a German company with the ever-so-clever name of CarLoft is putting that long walk down the corridor to the parking garage elevator behind us. This incredible waste of money invention means that hi-rise city dwellers need not mingle with the likes of the creepy parking attendant or dirty up a shirtsleeve while reaching to swipe a parking card at an electric gate. (Again, perfect for celebrities.) No, you can just ease your beautiful ride into the lift, cruise on up and drive the thing onto your balcony. So your dinner party guests, who may have already arrived… via the (oh, how awful) front door… can greet you with a cocktail and then stand around and compliment you on your clear coat.

There’s something all too unnecessary about the CarLof. Not only will this elevator (remember, it’s a CAR elevator, people) consume unreal amounts of electricity, but the potential disasters are almost laughable: warming up the car and leaving the sliding glass door open is not recommended, I would imagine. And then there’s that whole idea about waving extremely heavy objects over crowded city streets. Not really thinking THAT’s a great idea either.

Thank you CarLoft, but I’ll take the stairs.

Link [CarLoft] via [Concept Trends]

Five Dollar Gas Plus is The New Reality- Time to Hybrid Up

$5/gallon gas in Gordo, California. Welcome to the new reality.

Link [San Luis Obispo]

Photo Credit: Flickr user Momo The Monster

The Friday Video Round Up: Will Ferrell, Big Angry Fat Guys, Al Gore, and the Hummer Hybrid

It’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do. So roll one up (a burrito), sit back, and relax to a few funny ass videos.

• Big Angry Fat Guy 

 

I’m surprised this guy didn’t have a heart attack half way through this. The fat Guy From Boston unloads on Global Warming, Al Gore, and Ben Affleck. While I don’t agree with his angle, I have to give him credit for his angry crazy man passion.

• The Hummer Hybrid

 

I want a Hummer Hybrid. It’s gets 5MPG on the highway!

• Will Ferrell, aka George Bush, on Global Warming

 

An oldie, but goodie. Will Ferrell is the man.

• Artfully Shot Macro Video of Popping Pimples

 

OK, this one isn’t green at all but is a disturbingly good way to end the week. If you’ve ever gotten a secret thrill from popping a pimple, this one is for you. Squeamish readers might want to skip this one.

Enjoy your Friday!

GM CEO Rick Wagoner: Vice Chairman Bob Lutz Doesn’t Speak for GM on Global Warming

We wrote about GM’s Vice Chairman Bob Lutz a last month when he made the brilliant comment that Global Warming was a “total crock of shit”. GM is getting their asses handed to them by Toyota and Honda who have been much smarter about deploying hybrid technology in their fleet.

GM’s CEO Rick Wagoner wants us all to know that Bob wasn’t speaking for General Motors- they believe that Global Warming is real and that they are working on how to best address the issue.

Fuck them. GM has been dragging their feet on improving efficiency for as long as cars have had four wheels. They’re hooked on building big ass cars that get single ass digit gas mileage. Mr. Wagoner can sputter all he wants about how GM loves the Earth and is doing their bestest to save it from their products, but we’re not being fooled. Bob Lutz made it very clear- GM is lead by asshat dinosaurs who will be buried in the tar pit that is a Globally Warmed future.

Link [Pure Green Cars]

Higher Gas Prices + Road Congestion = Greener Mass Transit

Is everyone else just getting killed by gas prices? I can’t believe how short a distance $20 in gas now gets me. I work from home and don’t drive much and I’m still hating the wallet gouging the gas pump is digging me for. I know gas is never going to be cheap again and the whole situation has prompted me to make some big life changes.

First, me and my family are moving into downtown Portland, Maine. We moved back east a few years ago and have been living in the rural just north of the city of 100,000. Over the past few months we realized that we were sick of driving everywhere and sick of the money it cost us to do so. We’ll be moving to Portland’s West End, a cool old money section of town that is smack dab next to just about anything you’d want to walk to on the city’s peninsula. I’m getting an electric skateboard and downsizing my car.

Grist’s Ryan Avent points out that oil prices are at an all time high in real terms. Gas prices peak during the summer so it’s likely a lot of the country could see $4/gallon gas come June. He hopes the higher prices combine with hassles of congestion will spur our investment and focus on clean mass transit. He has it:

If new infrastructure primarily comes in the form of new lane miles, then congestion reduction will only be temporary; eventually, developers will respond to the new investments by building along the new capacity — that is, outward. In the space of a few years, the congestion benefits will be erased, and with no reduction in vehicle miles traveled or emissions, since increased efficiency may well be canceled out by longer commutes. Critically, exposure to higher fuel costs will remain.

If, however, congestion is addressed by the implementation of congestion pricing, along with significant investments in high-capacity rail service, both inter- and intracity, then efforts to clear the nation’s arteries will also yield reductions in emissions and miles traveled, and the addition of automobile alternatives will make it easier for commuters to substitute away from driving when gas costs soar.

We’re going to spend a lot of money on infrastructure in the near future. It is critical that we use that money to maximum good effect. New highways will bring little to no long-term return on investment. If we’re going to spend, we should spend smart.

As much as higher gas prices hurt my individual pocket, it could be a very effective way to push things in a smarter, greener way. Let’s hear it for $5/gallon!

Link [Gristmill]

Hyper Efficient Car Built in 1973 Gets 377 MPG!

Damn, check this out- a guy just bought a car built in 1973 that gets 376.59 MPG.

The Seattle PI has it:

Don’t choke on your organic soy-double-decaf-fair-trade-carbon-neutral macchiato, but how does 376.59 miles per gallon sound? Makes your Honda Civic hybrid look Hummeresque, doesn’t it?

That number doesn’t come from some manta ray-shaped, wind tunnel-vetted carbon fiber space car. No, it’s from a chop-top, steel-frame 1959 Opel T-1 (think melting jelly bean, but uglier). And the record was set in 1973 in a contest sponsored by Shell Oil Co.

The car doesn’t look very comfortable, but at the same time it was made 34 YEARS ago. The Auto Industry is a bunch of wankhammers who need to get their efficiency groove on. If we could hit 376 MPG 34 years ago I’m sure we can get our current average up another 20 or 30 MPGs. We just need the people who make the cars to grow a set and take some leadership on the issue.

Link [Seattle PI]

Idiot Manchild & GM Vice Chairman Bob Lutz Thinks Global Warming is a “Total Crock of Shit.”

And as a followup to the “Coal is Great!” video, Green Daily has news that douche nozzle and GM Vice Chairman Bob Lutz was heard to declare global warming a “total crock of shit.”

It warms my heart that GM is getting their asses handed to them by Honda and Toyota. Bob Lutz needs a push off the GM plane right onto his golden parachute to make room for someone who understands that the world is round and global warming is a reality that needs to be faced. GM’s position in the market will only get worse until they have people at the top who really understand the challenges of global warming and how to best position their car company to meet them.

Link [Autoblog Green] via Green Daily

No Impact Man: Are Better Cars a Better Cancer?

Colin Beaven is known as No Impact Man. For a year he lived a life with no negative environmental impact- he didn’t drive a car, didn’t use electricity in his New York City apartment, ate only locally grown food, and somehow managed to get his wife to come along for the journey.

He asks a killer question in his post on his excellent blog “Is making a better car like making a better cancer?” and then follows it up with 25 sharp and astute arguments for reducing our dependence on cars. Here are a few of my favorite, head over and read the whole list, it should jog your thoughts on our car culture. Colin references WorldChanging’s Alex Steffan’s post “My other car is a Bright Green City”

• Societal obsession with inventing a high-efficiency vehicle obscures the fact that using our land to live in suburbs instead of compact villages and cities may be not only a sustainable but a much more satisfying solution.
• If everyone in the United States deserves a car, then everyone in the world deserves a car. If everyone in the world gets a car, we’re toast.
• Studies show that building more roads only causes more traffic.
• Where, in major cities like, say, New York, are you supposed to fit more roads anyway?
• 3.5 million Americans now spend the equivalent of a month a year in their cars, according to Alex.
• According to Alex, “procurement of the materials used to make and maintain that car (and then dispose of it at the end of its life) may mean that almost half of the direct climate impact of a car never comes out of its tailpipe.”
• So even if you come up with a car, based on the same materials, that gets infinity miles per gallon, you’ll only have cut your footprint by half.

Link [No Impact Man] & [WorldChanging]

The Cadillac Escalade Hybrid is Big Pile of Greenwashed Steel

Inhabitat points out the very long stretch of the imagination it takes to call the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid that NY Giants QB Eli Manning won in the Super Bowl “green”. We’re talking about a giant beast of an SUV that only pulls 18 miles per gallon of gas.

Excuse me, but WTF. Since when is 18 MPG green? Sure, it’s greener than the normal Escalade, but that’s not saying much- kind of like saying Nicky is the less trashy Hilton sister.

Here’s what Inhabitat has to say…

The hybrid SUV is a classic example of the “how much is good enough” issue inherent to so much of corporations’ going green efforts. Okay, so the Escalade is greenER, but isn’t this really just a green marketing spin on a bigger issue? Should we applaud GM for even making such efforts or scold them for their continuous production of such an unnecessarily large and inefficient vehicle? The fact that it’s given as the prize for winning America’s biggest sporting event is even more troubling- we’re essentially sending the message that the best reward is misrepresented, irresponsible luxury.

I suppose the silver lining is that Eli Manning chose the hybrid SUV from a variety of Cadillacs. The Hybrid Escalade, which will be available later this year, was Eli’s “responsible” choice, however clouded in materialism it may have been. “I know it comes out in the summer. I want the first one.”

Link [Inhabitat]

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