Bash Back at Bulk Mail: Send a Brick Back to Bulk Mailers on Their Dime- Legally!

Junk mail is a pain in the ass. You get all excited to check your mail, hoping for a fatty paycheck or a steamy note from Gladys in HR or at least your FerretFancy magazine, but instead you get shat on with bills for your most recent bladder operation and a ton of crap catalogues and credit card offers.

Besides being downright disappointing, crap mailings also use up around 100 million trees, around 30 billion gallons of water, and wastes about 300 million dollars in local tax money per year. Makes you just wanna leave a flaming shit on those bulk-mail guys’ doorsteps, am I right?

Well, check out this brilliant trick from the Office of Strategic Influence. Apparently, you can use those handy business-return envelopes to mail your steamy dump free of charge. The best part is that the poor bastards actually have to pay 20 cents per pound to receive your stool sample.

Okay, so it’s technically not legal to send poop, but you can definitely get away with sending something awkward and cumbersome like a brick. And there isn’t anyway they can track you down. Bwahahahaha! So fight the good fight, send a brick to bulk!

Link [Office of Strategic Influence]