The Shadow Yacht: The Perfect Way to Showboat Your Distended Bank Account (Literally!)

For the billionaire who has everything, including a grossly bloated environmental footprint, comes the Shadow Yacht: think of it as a garage for your main 400-foot boat. If you’ve never seen those specials on TV that highlight the amazing ways Middle Eastern oil billionaires find to waste their money, here’s a quick education in Disgusting Wealth 101.

The Wall Street Journal has it:

A shadow yacht is a trailer yacht for your megayacht — a floating garage of a sort that tags along with your main yacht to carry your collection of helicopters, cars, motorcycles, jet skis and motorboats. That way, when you pull up to the docks of Monaco in your 350-foot main yacht, you can also pull into the local restaurants in your personalized drophead Rolls, without having to endure the indignity of a rented limo.

The boats can also pack fuel, water, spare parts and supplies, allowing more remote travel.

Shadow Marine, of Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., is the main builder of shadow yachts, and they’ve sold two already — both to Middle Eastern clients. The company recently released a new model, called the Allure, which is much more plush than the earlier versions. Replacing the garage-like décor is an interior complete with six staterooms, a pool, sky lounge, theater, game room and mini gym.

For just $35 million, you can have a shadow yacht of your very own. It’s the perfect way to get back at your father for saying you would never be as rich as your 12 brothers, attract a plastic-tittied golddigging trophy wife, and can even secretly house your bevy of bleached blond, lucite-stripper-heels-wearing mistresses. It’s SO classy, y’all – Price Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud, net worth $20.3 billion, whose beautiful mug is pictured, agrees. Even better, you can convince yourself you’re doing something good for the environment: these babies are made from decommissioned oil-supply boats. Just ignore the fact that you’re using insane quantities of oil to run it, and you’re golden.

Link: [Wall Street Journal]
Photo credit: Wall Street Journal + YURI CORTEZ/AFP/Getty Images

Next thing you know ol’ Jed’s a Billionaire- Todays Oil Prices Make Clampetts Billionaires

Jed Clampett, the lovable old patriarch of the Clampett family who struck black gold one day while shootin for some food, would be an incredibly rich Hillbilly had that fortunate hunting accident happened today. You could say he’d be happier than a tornado at a trailer park.

Had Jed discovered that bubblin crude these days instead of 1962 he’d be worth a cool billion dollars. Back in ‘62 when Jed stuck oil in Bugtussel, the price per barrel was around $2.85. Kin folk told Jed move away from there, so The Clampetts loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly (Hill’s that is) with $25,000,000 in Mr. Drysdale’s bank.

Which means, if we do the math …that Jed uncovered around 8.7 million barrels of oil. At any price above $115.55/barrel Jed’s north of 10 figures (a Billionaire). A quick stop to Bloomberg Energy shows crude oil futures currently going for ~$118/barrel.

Wee Doggies!, imagine the party Jed, Granny, Jethro, Elly May, and Duke could throw with that kind of cash- the fancy vittles, moonshine and dancing out by the cee-ment pond. Which would make them all happier than cats a fish fry. Yeehaw.

Meet the King of All Squatters: Harry Halowes Turns 21 Years of Squatting into $8,000,000 in Land

This is Harry Halowes:

Harry has been living in a discarded junk tent camp right down the hill from a vacant London estate for the past 21 years. A big fat cat billionaire bought the estate, dumped over a hundred million dollars into fixin’ it up, and was shocked when his attempt to boot Squatter Harry from the land was turned away by the courts whose ruling gave Harry rights to his plot of land.

Harry’s lot is now worth nearly $8,000,000. We hope he sells out and gets himself setup with a nice apartment in some swanky part of town. He should have enough left over for a butler and 20 or 30 years of eeeeasy livin’. Not a bad upgrade from a dingy squat lot. Huzzah for Harry.

Link [Daily Mail]