Bio-Bluths: Green Mantras In Arrested Development

Arrested Development is a classic “so good it got canceled” TV show–it was fiercely loved by the fans that bothered to watch it, and ignored by everybody else, with no pasty middle ground lazy viewers to carry it through season after season (Everybody Loves Raymond, I’m talking to you). Should some of those devotees be looking to the green movement for the Bluth-shaped hole in their lives? Here are a few green things we found in Arrested Development.

The Banana Stand

The source of George Sr.’s start and the repository for his dirty money, the Bluth Banana Stand is a great way for us to be sucking down petroleum-light treats. Sort of. While bananas have to be transported long distances to get to the stand–and frozen when they’re there–they don’t have to be sweetened by high-fructose corn syrup, and the production of that is incredibly petroleum intensive, thanks to the use of fertilizer to make up for the amount of corn we can naturally produce, refine the syrup, and then get the processed food to your gut.

Gob’s Segway

Gob is best known for being a bad person in pretty much every respect, but his chosen method of transportation straddles the line in between “lazy” and “green” petty effectively. While Gob has a bad habit of not walking places he can Segway, he also Segways everywhere a normal person would drive. It’s more energy effecient, that’s for sure, but he’s using up so much juice that it’s worth asking what sort of power plant they’re charging off of.

Blowing Up The Yacht

We’ve discussed with you in the past how bad ships can be for the planet when they’re just used for luxury cruising, and so it’s probably worth mention that Gob strikes a pretty big blow against these floating Humvees by sinking the Bluth family’s…to “The Final Countdown”…for MTV.

Michael’s Bike

I think the point that AD is trying to drive home is that Michael makes every sacrifice for his family–he was living in the attic when we first met him–and lets them drive the car while his humble bicycle is the way to commute. We certainly don’t see him talk about the environment any, but hey–he’s getting at that, too.

The Stair Truck

What, you might ask, is a carbon-belching behemoth of a 1980s pickup doing on a green list? Simple–by continuing to use it until the end of its service life, the Bluth family has saved all of the energy needed to produce a new car–almost a 1,000 mile difference depending on the automobile. And it’s great for cruising for chicks, too.

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