They’re known for being largely anti-science, and many of their numbers still insist that global warming either isn’t real or isn’t caused by man. Paul Krugman declared the GOP to be “the party of stupid” last August, and they haven’t done much to dissuade the public from agreeing with him since then. From declaring the planet already saved – by Jesus – to comparing kids in the climate movement to the Hitler Youth, Republicans really do say the darndest things.
Image via: Pundit Kitchen
“[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.” – Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minnesota, August 12th 2008
Good news, folks! We can all sit back and relax, because the planet has already been saved. What’s that? The bible says absolutely nothing about Jesus saving the planet? Right. Well, kudos anyway to Bachmann for finding such a ridiculous and unique way to take a shot at Nancy Pelosi, the GOP’s favorite punching bag.
Image via: EarthFirst composite
“It’s odorless, colorless, tasteless, doesn’t cause cancer, doesn’t cause asthma… there’s nobody that’s ever been admitted to a hospital because of CO2 poisoning.” – Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas, May 19th 2009
Brilliant reasoning there, Barton. Because, obviously, if a substance doesn’t taste or smell like anything and isn’t a carcinogen, that means it’s totally harmless! The fact that CO2 is in soda, and that we breathe it out, doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant to global warming. It’s doubtful, however, that Barton even cares whether the words coming out of his mouth make any damn sense at all.
Images via: Flickr user The Searcher & Wikimedia Commons
“The earth will end only when God declares its time to be over. Man will not destroy this earth, this earth will not be destroyed by a flood.” – Rep. John Shimkus, R-Illinois, on why he believes that climate change is not a threat
Well, you’re right there, Shimkus – man will not destroy this earth. However, we are well on our way to making it uninhabitable for humans and millions of other species. That’s probably good news to you, however, since according to the Bible that would seem to indicate the Second Coming. “In case of the rapture, this congressional seat will be unmanned!” And we will all be the better for it.
Interesting to see that Rep. Shimkus, who believes that the bible is the infallible word of god, also mentioned the ‘Age of Dinosaurs’ during this hearing. Last time I checked, the bible doesn’t mention anything about dinosaurs… but that can easily be explained away. They’re Jesus Horses!
Image via cbv.ns.ca & Wikipedia
“We don’t know what those other cycles were caused by in the past. Could be dinosaur flatulence, you know, or who knows?’ – Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-California, questioning the authors of a landmark IPCC report about a period of dramatic climate change that occurred 55 million years ago
Dinosaurs, flatulence and Republicans… the jokes write themselves.
“Kathy Dahlkemper has some wacky ideas. Take energy. She said we should make personal sacrifices such as ‘walking places’ and ‘riding bikes’.” – National Republican Congressional Committee ad for Rep. Phil English, R-Pennsylvania on his Democratic challenger Kathy Dahlkemper
Oh, those wacky Democrats. What will they think of next?
Image via: Current.com
“I’m trying to think where else this has been done – Soviet Russia, Nazi, Germany, Mussolini’s Italy,” Beck said. “In fact, the Nazis took an extra step. Not only did they indoctrinate the kids and tell them you’re probably right, you know but your parents don’t; in fact, here’s the next step: Why don’t you tell us what your parents are telling you. Are we having the new Hitler youth? Is that what this is? The new Hitler youth? I’m sorry, that’s so politically incorrect – the new green guard. Man your station, 12-year-olds, your parents just don’t know.”– Conservative radio and Fox News host Glenn Beck on Al Gore’s ‘indoctrination’ of children
What did Al Gore say to provoke that attack? He had the gall to tell a bunch of school kids, “There are some things about our world that you know that older people don’t know.” Gasp! It’s the beginning of a new Hitler Youth! Soon those kids will be recycling and turning the lights off, and if that isn’t a major threat to the poor downtrodden Republican base, I don’t know what is.
This isn’t even the first time Beck, whose Fox News show is designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, has likened the global climate movement to the horrific mass murder of millions of innocent people. He apparently really likes the Holocaust/Nazi analogy, because in 2007 he asserted that Al Gore is using the “same tactic” to fight global warming that Hitler used to vilify Jews in Nazi Germany. Yeah.
Image via: Third Base Politics
“The idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical. Every time we exhale, we exhale carbon dioxide. Every cow in the world, you know when they do what they do you’ve got more carbon dioxide.” – Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio
You’re totally right, Boehner. The idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen is comical.
“So, do you want to put your country first? Then let’s reduce our dependency on foreign sources of oil and promote oil and gas production at home. In other words: Drill, baby, drill! And drill now!” – Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele at the Republican National Convention in 2008
Yes, that’s right, the infamous(ly insipid) “drill, baby, drill” rallying cry that Sarah Palin made famous actually originated with the GOP’s totally fresh hip-hop Michael Steele. Is anyone surprised?
Image via: Current
“There are some monuments where the land is so widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the–the precious part, so to speak–I guess all land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment.”—Former President George W. Bush, media round table, Washington, D.C. March 13, 2001
Bushisms: pretty much the only enjoyable aspect of George W. Bush’s presidency. Even Bush himself didn’t understand what he just said. Irregardless, we will never misunderestimate our former President’s ability to turn what should have been a one-sentence statement into incoherent, misguided rambling.
