7 Awesomely Cool Green Costumes We Hope to See on Halloween

Halloween is less than two weeks away, and with it will come millions of people wandering the streets dressed in various incarnations of vampires, flappers, pirates and super heroes. If you’re going to be dressing up anyway, why not choose a green-themed costume that spreads awareness of environmental issues and is really scary at the same time? After all, there aren’t many things that are more frightening than penis shrinkage, blue men in red panties, mountains of plastic – oh yeah, and global warming. Here are seven awesomely creative, goofy, scary and funny green costume ideas. Bonus points if you make them yourself out of scrap materials!

7. Captain Planet

Captain Planet has been done many times, by many people, but there’s always room for your own special interpretation. Some wannabe green superheroes choose plastic masks and muscle-mimicking padding while others go for ladies’ pantyhose, face paint and red boxer briefs complete with access hole. The creepiness of Captain Planet brought to life is indeed Halloween appropriate, and there aren’t many things scarier than blue men in red panties, especially if you forgo the body stocking and just paint your body blue instead (eww, paint-covered happy trails!).

And, by the way – if you decide to dress as Captain Planet, do it right. A mullet is an essential part of the costume, and your body stocking or paint should be the same color as your face.

Images via Estrip.org, POPWRAP, Daily Costume

6. T. Boone Pickens

This billionaire oil magnate may have made his fortune from petroleum, but as one of the most outspoken figures warning against peak oil, he has lately been known more for his massive wind power projects. The reformed Republican is loudly warning the world that a shift to clean alternative energy is crucial, recently announcing a major energy policy proposal called the Pickens Plan that promotes natural gas, wind and solar power.

If you’re going to dress up as Pickens, you’ll need a business suit, a wrinkly old man mask (or a printout of Picken’s face, made into a mask), a stack of fake cash, a mini wind turbine and the willingness to butt your way into conversations to tell people about alternative energy.

5. Global Warming/The Hockey Stick Graph

This Halloween, spread the scary knowledge of impending doom by dressing as the hockey stick graph, or perhaps pairing that idea with global warming like Senator James ‘Global Warming is a Hoax’ Inhofe here. To mimic Sen. Inhofe’s costume, make yourself a melting globe hat out of stuffed felt and a chin strap. Cut little shapes out of felt for the continents and melting ice. Stick a dangerously hot thermometer in your mouth and wear a sandwich board displaying the hockey stick graph. If you prefer gory costumes, perhaps you’d like to take this idea in another direction by dressing as one of the effects of global warming: a dead polar bear or a diseased corpse popping up from the melting permafrost.

4. That Guy Who Saved All His Trash for a Year

You know, that guy. Get a giant clear trash bag, cut arm and leg holes and step inside. Fill it up with trash and tie up the top. You might want to also make yourself trash jewelry and a hat to top it all off. A year worth of trash is a lot – obviously, more than you’ll be able to carry – but try to pack on as much as you can. The costume will be more fun if you put weird, gross, embarrassing items inside like condoms, cat litter and unidentifiable bottled substances. You can totally make it look better than our photoshopped example, we promise.

3. Willie Nelson

If you’re going to dress up as everybody’s favorite green country music legend, there’s one accessory you must include. Just make sure it’s not the real thing if you go out in public, or you could be in for a long night in the pokey. Just fill a little baggie with ‘oregano’ and smoke hand-rolled cigarettes (or keep one in your hand, if you’re not a smoker!). Don’t forget the braids, cowboy hat and/or American flag bandanna, beard, ratty jeans and an acoustic guitar.

2. ManBearPig

As Al Gore warned us, ManBearPig is a real threat. This terrifying creature, “half man, half bear and half pig”, roams the earth and attacks humans. You can go all out and dress as the actual ManBearPig, as seen in Imaginationland, or you could be Al Gore AS ManBearPig. If you choose the second option, be prepared to speak in a lisp and yell ‘Excelsior!’ and tell people you’re “super-cereal”. Faux fur, a pig nose and a pair of pig ears will do the trick.

1. Phthalates

So, we recently heard that phthalates might be responsible for reducing the size of men’s penises. That’s scary enough in itself, and phthalates – compounds used to make plastic softer – lurk in every corner. They’re found in baby bottles, plastic cups, lotion, cosmetics, toys, raincoats, shower curtains and furniture. Dress up as sinister phthalates incarnate by dressing in a white outfit printed with the toxic compound’s chemical structure and adorned with tiny crocheted penises with frown faces. Get a pattern for the crocheted penises at Etsy shop mellenlatta (just turn that smile upside down). A white mask adds to the eerie quality. You’ll definitely have to explain this one to people, but crocheted penises are a sure-fire way to get everyone’s attention.

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